A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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