Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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