A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

knock knock come in!

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

The bears will win the Super Bowl

Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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