Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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How long is a china man?

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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What did Jesus say when he made the first black person? What another perfect creation to this world!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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