Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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