hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops