A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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