A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

Penis chickens

I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

What did Washington say to California? WC

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...