What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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No soup for you!

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Double-whammy

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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