Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops