your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Women's rights

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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Stop procrastinating.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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