How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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