What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

did you know towels can cause dry skin?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

thumb_up thumb_down +22

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

anti-joke.ru - russian style

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops