What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

thumb_up thumb_down +56

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

thumb_up thumb_down +30

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +18

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops