Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops