Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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