Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops