What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops