Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

thumb_up thumb_down -20

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops