What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

Ben Affleck

anti jokes are really funny

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

WOMENS RIGHTS

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

Women's Rights.

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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