What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops