What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

I like touching my boobs

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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