Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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