Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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