what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Well that explains a lot, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Every human being has some kind of penis <3

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops