What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white player in the NBA. Wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops