What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Skrillex.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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