What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Cliterus

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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