Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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