A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Hi

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops