Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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