A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops