Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

make me a sandwich! what kind?

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

knock knock Dave's not here.

fava beans

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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