k

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Were can you find a bag of meth?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats 1+1? The answer!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

João Duarte reads this.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do we call Osama? Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops