Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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Your mom.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

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they're dead. idiot.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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