What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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Your Mother

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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women's rights

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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