whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops