A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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my mind's eye?

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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