A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Chinese men having large penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops