whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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wsde

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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