Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Who invented apple? God

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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