whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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