i named my son Frodo because he was little

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

Feminism

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...