Hellen keller

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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derp

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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