Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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How High is a Chinese man

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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