Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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