Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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