Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Black people.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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no pun intended

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops