Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

Who is Dank? A: Billal

What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

How will the world end? That information is unknown

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

Women's rights.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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