- Anti Joke

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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