I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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