What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops