Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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