What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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