Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

A man was shot. He died.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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