I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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