I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

Try it Yourself »

Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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